Why Vega failed

Newsflash from the media world: Sydney and Melbourne's experiment in Gen X radio, Vega, has had the plug pulled from its life support machine.

Vega, owned and managed by dmgRadio Australia, who also run the more successful Nova radio stations, has been replaced by the innovative 'Classic Hits' a station that will break new ground in radio entertainment by playing tried and tested classics from the 60s to now.

If memory serves, and this is supported by an article in The Age, when the station launched in 2005, it would provide Gen Xers with a wide variety of music combined with witty fellow Gen Xers (merging to Baby-boomers) such as Shaun Micallef, Tony Squires, Wendy Harmer and Francis Leach. The idea was to provide music for people who had grown up and out of Triple M.

The problem is, people who grew up listening to Triple M still listen to Triple M (I shit you not, when ACDC toured recently they played 'back to backer Acker Dacker'). So pretty much nobody listend to Vega. The Chaser's War on Everything parodied this dilemma perfectly by bringing the entire Vega audience (ie a minivan worth of people) into Vega 95.3's Sydney studio for a focus group and to reduce broadcasting costs.

Apparently the format was right - people wanted talk and music - but people didn't convert intent to action and DMG were not prepared to make a loss for more than five years. But, this is what my view is as to why it failed, and I speak not as an authority on radio ratings or entertainment but as someone fast approaching the 40 to 54 age market targeted by the station.

It played fucking awful, bland, music.

For some reason, Vega's programmers decided that although when you were twenty you liked Eric B and Rakim, De La Soul, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and other bands you thought made you a bit edgy, a little bit 'street,' for some reason, Vega think I want to hear fucking Billy Joel, Genesis or Maria fucking Carey. Let me tell you something. I hated Billy Joel as soon as I was old enough to know who he was. The only even remote enjoyment I have ever received from Billy Joel is when the afore mentioned Francis Leach, on the also afore mentioned Shaun Micallef did a version of Piano Man, on Guitar.

My nearly 40 year old ears do not want to hear 'Uptown Girl' any more now than they did in their teens. In fact, if anything, my ear's tastebuds have become even more discerning as I age. I bought a Genesis album once (once is a mistake, twice you are a fan) on the strength of listening to one song that was not too horrible. I would never do that now.

Life is too short to listen to shit music.

People in their 40's have precious little time for themselves. Between listening to their kid's poor music taste (mine have mercifully grown out of Wiggles and Crazy Frog) and even poorer music ability ('talent night' anyone?), work commitments, socialising etc, there is probably only about one hour a day, if that, where people like me can listen their choice of music. The average song from the Titanic soundtrack goes for 6 minutes. So what with advertisements, back announcements, witty repartee and news, that is probably 20% of my listening time wasted. Fuck that, I'll listen to my Ipod instead where I hear only my choice of music. Sure, I miss out on news but I get that online anyway. And it is hardly like I will miss out on hearing my next favourite new song on Vega - only the tried and tested get there unless Elton Jon releases a new album.

Here's an idea I guarantee will work.

Dig out what Triple J was playing between 1986 and say, 1995 or even 2000. Then find all the retired Triple J presenters who went on to ABC702 for grown-ups and offer them the opportunity to play good music again, with commentary. Call it Triple X so Gen X people know it is for them, and watch the ratings roll in.

40+ people only stop listening to Triple J because:

• since Adam Spencer and Wil Anderson left there have been no decent breakfast announcers (no disrespect to Marieke Hardy);
• Triple J seem obsessed with unearthing Indy bands regardless of talent - with god awful guitar riffs by talentless shits that never would have received air time 20 years ago;
• it's awkward explaining the lyrics of Butter Fingers "ya mama" to an eight year old boy;
  
• they look tragic listening to Triple J at their age.

The music I like now is similar to the music I liked 20 years ago. I like to think that my musical taste and knowledge is growing but even the new music I like now is similar to the music I liked 20 years ago. It all has a solid bass beat, clever lyrics, and avoids screaching guitar solos, power-balad style delivery and overly computer generated voices.

There must be hundreds of thousands of people like me in Australia, all crying out for a station that doesn't avoid "weird, unfamiliar stuff" hosted by fuck wads like Alice Cooper (really, is this the best we, and he, can do?) or Ian 'Dicko' Dickerson. Let's make it happen...